Daily Rant*******

My emotions are getting to be bothersome again. Ever had a day when you wish you COULDN'T"T feel? I have been going from manic to a depressed state at the drop of a hat. But I don't want to be medicated again. Walking around like all of the other non feeling pill induced zombies roaming the Earth. When I am medicated I feel more isolated and alone than I do sitting here in the dark. I guess I'll just have to grab hold of the reigns and slowly begin taking back control of my emotions, my mind....Me. If not for me for the kids......
-Kas

Daily Rant*******Part 2

The Darkness. It comforts me. I like being up alone by myself where I can think, write, dream. Yet at the same time something terrifies me so much that I am having trouble sleeping in the dark again. The dreams come and even if I lay awake I see shadows....waiting...lurking....watching. I know it sounds crazy. To both love it and despise it. I know it does. Maybe I am going crazy. Or having an "break" from reality. Whatever it is I grow tired of this constant rollercoaster. The minute by minute of the day passes quickly while the darkness passes millisecond by millisecond. So I can feel, taste, smell every moment and thrive off it and at the same time be repulsed and scared of it. At this point if I am crazy or insane or delusional I am used to it.
Kas

Daily Rant*******

Finished a book last night. Strangers by Dean Koontz. Loved it. It made me think about many things. The reason I bought it was the beginning synopsis. Strangers who live far away from each other are all having nightmares. Captivated me from the start. No I didn't expect the whole "alien" thing till about halfway in, but all in all a good book which took me for a ride. Before I guessed where it was going though I actually had to put the book down for a few weeks. MY nightmares had begun again and took a life of their own. Wonder if there are Strangers who live far from me having the same nightmares I am having? Then again I know where my dreams come from and unfortunately they don't involve loving aliens.......

Another thing that I loved was it made me think of the possibilities.....That maybe mankind would head in the right direction. Hey remember I am thinking here. Anyway. if you get a chance pick it up. A good ride from start to finish.
Kas

------QUOTE OF THE DAY------

• A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy? -Albert Einstein