~~~Pleasured Pain~~~

"The pain of pleasure is still pleasure"

My eyes dance to your beauty, caught in your skin veiled beneath seduction. My body follows yours as our eyes devour each other. You taste my desire with an expectant tongue and smile as your eyes whisper for more. I fall at your command. Waiting for your every demand. You know I am yours and give a smile in return. for that pleasured pain you will give that I yearn. Your eyes search my white eager skin., thinking of the pleasures soon to begin. Anxious sweat breaks on my brow. Expecting a crack of lather to answer me now. You taunt me by saying "You are mine, all of You." You leave a lash of fire that was the answer to my darkest desire.

-Unknown

"For Revenge"

KILLING.
I hate doing it, but I must.
After each kill,
I feel I;ve gone nuts.
I must be crazy,
Because I like to feel your last breath.
And to know
That I was the one who caused your death.
It gives me power.
It gives me a thrill.
I feel like a GOD,
After I kill.
Blood on my hands,
Blood on my neck.
So much blood,
It almost makes me sick.
Changed my clothes
Then cleaned the blood up.
Wonder where to bury him,
As I put him in the trunk.
How many more to go?
He was number nine.
As many as needs be.
Till I feel the revenge is mine!
-Kassie
**discalimer** No of course I have never done this. It is fiction idiot.

------QUOTES OF THE DAY------

• Life is a disease...Sexually transmitted and always fatal. -Neil Gaiman
• Fiction is the truth inside the lie. -Stephen King
• Writing is like making love, but it's also like pulling a tooth. Pleasure and Pain. Sometimes it's even like making love while having a tooth pulled. -Dean Koontz
• Remember whatever your religion, most of the world disagrees with you anyway. -off of a bumper sticker
• Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember....when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend your arm and bitch slap the motherfucker up side the head. -off of a t-shirt

Daily Rant*******Part 2

Inspiration has been gone now for months.....I want to write....Furthermore NEED to write. Yet anything of significance flees from my mind before I can grab it. I wake up in cold sweats knowing I should write down my dreams......But only fragments are left in the clouds......


Heart to Hand-Hand to Pen-Pen to Paper. Sounds so simple right? Sometimes the flow faster than my hands can keep up. They flow with such ease and grace that they form a life of their own and where I was headed is not where I end up. Yet, other times I feel as if I will simply BUST if I don't write. Then the words fall on numb hands and there is no medicine for it.

-Kas

Daily Rant*******

Been a few months since I have updated. Got in on the whole Xbox craze. Between me and a friend we made a total of close to $400 profit to split 2 ways. Capitialism at its finest what can I say. Closer and Closer until Chrsitmas. Have to start getting ready sooner rather than later if I want to get it all done in time.

Been going to NA meetings with my brother-in-law for support. Funny how it makes me feel like such a hypocrite.

Was scanning some blogs and one caught my eye. ... in the-shadows was the name of it. Alot of heart and sadness in it. Reminds me alot of myself when I was younger. Thats all on my mind yet. I'll wander around cyber world and I'm sure I will be able to find other interesting things to write about.
-Kas

"The Dream"

I had a dream
In that dream I was running
Running from who or what I don't know.
I knew not to look back or my soul would be lost forever.
But the temptation was too strong.
I had to....NEEDED to.
I looked back and saw him
Satan
Running behind me, a fleshy shadow of my secret mind.
Running, Knowing.
Luring me to look deep inside, to the evil I held within.
Begging me to release it.
I looked in my soul, but what was there I can not remember.
If I did I'm sure I'd go insane.
Did I give in to the evil or no?
I guess I'll never know...
Because you see at that terrifying moment I woke up.
-Kassie

Daily Rant*******

Been learning more html and using PSP in the past few days. Redoing my whole eBay image....Trying to make more $$ as usual. Aren't we all? Dara has her baby on Wed. Hopefully everything will go o.k.
Kas

"dear god"

god? are you there? are you listening to me? and if you are why have you ignored me before? all i want to know is why you cause so much pain and suffering?!? "GOD" is supposed to be loving, kind, caring, and generous. NOT painful, conniving, callous, and letting us suffer at his amusement. you let children go hungry....women get beaten... people are homeless...and some you let die too early. some say you put us throughout "tests.: well i say ENOUGH of the goddamned tests. i for one have learned all i've need to learn. i've suffered all i've wanted to suffer....as many others have as well. we are always supposed to trust in you and put you first. but where were you when I need you? where were you when the LITTLE BOY was praying for a piece of bread? or the WOMAN begging you for her husband not to drink and beat her again. HUH?!? so "GOD" i'll make it easy for you. i'm not praying anymore...so there is one less meager human to listen to.
-kasandria

***ESCAPE Part 2***

Each step I take-each pill I take I fall further into the abyss. Each toke I take-each pound I make the escape becomes my bliss.

I like it..To feel nothing. After feeling so much pain and anger it's what I need. To escape.

I slip back into my min-find a little corner to hide. A place that is safe and warm...Gives me shelter from the storm.

This self destruction storm also known as my life. I can't take it! I need more. My mind is hazy-my eyes are glossy. I feel like I am the walking dead.

I feel no love, I feel no hate. It's what I want-what I need. This is the shelter I was looking for. I can't take much more.

Never again. No more. I can't take it. My mind is spinning out of control. It won't stop. The abyss is closing in on me. Now with my fears for company I go hide in my corner again. For every time the light begins to shine-I swallow. One more. Just one more. One more won't hurt.

-Kassie

***ESCAPE Part 1***

Escape from all this madness. Escape from all the sadness. I close my eyes and think of a far away land. The land where my dreams would come true. It's easy to escape from reality. But after awhile-it's hard to get back. It starts to become to comfortable. I can't tell the difference anymore. Is my reality my dreams? Or are my dreams my reality? He hands me some more. They go down as easy as before. Swallow my pain. Swallow my sorrow. I escape. I feel better now. Sit back. Relax. I don't feel a thing. Just go back to my fantasies. One day----I may take too many. Maybe that would be ok. Because then I would be forever in my dreams and wouldn't have to escape this reality.

-Kassie

Daily Rant*******

Been a couple of days since I've been here......Had drunken spells, and many many many listings on eBay to put up. But somewhere in the hoopla I found time to watch the movie CRASH. Let me just say it is one of those Tragically beautiful movies. It deals with hard core issues (racism) that most people believe don't exist in this day and age. The fact remains that EVERYONE including yourself STILL judges a book by its cover....Even when we try not to. It is hard but I think we must as a community try and not be so judgmental about the kid with the nose ring, the girl who had a baby at 16. The mother addicted crack.......The list goes on and on. Instead of opening or mouths to say something negative we should be out there helping....Doing something positive to change the situation.........Hell I am always better at giving other people advice instead of following my own....
Kas

***who shall read this***

each person who find this
will take a different piece of me
devouring my thoughts
succumbing to my nightmares
stripping me..........my words, my thoughts
with their eyes
some i scare
some i excite
some think i'm perverse
most run away in fright
yet, no one could ever understand the reason i write.
-kasandria

------SUNLIGHT------

I see it when you are sleeping. Like an angel that has fallen, but even more beautiful. I see the outline of your face. Even the pulse in your neck. You are my son......The sunshine of my life.
-Kasandria

Daily Rant*******

Kids gone for the weekend.**********WOOHOO************ I love them and miss them, but I was ready for a break. Time to break out the liquor. I need to clean house but we shall see if it actually happens...........
-Kas





Contemplating life and its many wonders while sitting by the computer smoking.....Getting tired and my thoughts become blurred. It would be easier if I could become the smoke and drift away until there was nothing left of me....
-Kas

------QUOTES OF THE DAY------

• "The line diving good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a part of his own heart?"-Alexander Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago
• "There is a great freedom in despair. Once reached even despair can be paradise...." -Lord Byron
• "I often think the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day."-Vincent Van Gogh

------The Sad Girl------

Her eyes have became nothing more than vacant holes from where she's cried...over him. It's 4 am and she still hasn't found her place yet. Everything that she knew and was familiar with included him. Now he's gone and she's left slipping on the tears she's cried. She's lost all hope. She reminds me of a beautiful angel, but she has a broken wing. Eventually time will heal her and she'll move on. She'll be alright in the end. She will reclaim her faith in love and in herself. Until then she'll live day by day and cry herself to sleep.
------kas

Daily Rant*******

Just saw the trailer for Exorcism of Emily Rose a few minutes ago and man let me tell you it is gonna be a good/scary film. It also got me to thinking about the whole exorcism thing. Supposedly this is "based on a true story" and is the Roman Catholic Church actually had to admit to it. Which as you and I both know doesn't happen very often......But the question is what do you think? Do you believe in the devil/demons and/or possessions? And if you do do you believe in God? God and I aren't on happy terms right now and sometimes I have even thought I was an atheist. BUT I do believe in demon possession.....So where does that leave me? Since I believe in that extreme in truth there must be another to balance it out.....Right? Ughhhhh just another thought in my sea of madness........
Kas

***WHAT IF***

WHAT IF
WHAT IF the world was as grey as my mind???
WHAT IF a sinner was god???
WHAT IF everyone spoke their mind and was brutally honest???
WHAT IF i had the ability to forgive and forget???
WHAT IF bad things never happened???
WHAT IF everyone was noRmal???
WHAT IF everyone believed in something???
WHAT IF the devil were true???
WHAT IF i should die???
WHAT IF
-Kasandria Michelle




---------------------------------BURDENS CAN KILL YOU---------------------------------

"A Tear"

a tear falls from her face

i wish i could take her place

she's still innocent and pure

if only i had the cure

how can this be happening again

with me watching as the horrors begin

i wish i could erase her pain

but i'm only standing here watching her be slain

slain in anger and sadness

i wish i could escape this madness

a tear falls from her face

i wish i could take her place

-kasandria

------QUOTES OF THE DAY------

• "Once exposed to the darkness ever present and ever hidden among us, one is forever tainted."-Mark L. Stinson
• "Superstition is the religion of feeble minds."-Edmund Burke
• "I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me."-Hunter S. Thompson